Gladiators Unite!!! Well, in the previous blog we learned that we need to assess the people we spend the most time, understanding that we will become an exact duplicate of those people financially,
spiritually, physically and psychologically. After that assessment some of you should have been shaking in your boots toward change. As James Allen says, “Men [people] are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; therefore remain bound.” Unfortunately, 95% of people will never take the action needed in order to reach their destiny; but not you!
You are ready to unleash the ties that bind and take charge of your dreams; but first you need to develop your inner circle (your Gladiator Team). So what makes a great Gladiator? Gladiators must posses a certain skill, knowledge, or network that we can learn from in order to get to our next level. Gladiators must be willing to provide guidance, feedback and support. (i.e, a mentor, a champion, or a coach, like me!) NOTE: Gladiators are not always free, they didn’t get to where they are without making sacrifices and investments, neither should you. Now it’s time to let’s get started with the essential elements.
These are essential elements to consider when choosing your Gladiator member(s). As you review this list, think about multiple people, remember it takes a village and if you are anything like me it takes gonna take a village approach (lol). So expand your thinking to a larger level. You probably haven’t even met your next Gladiator member but I promise you they are within your reach.
1. Believes. This Gladiator MUST believe in you and where you aspire to go. If they do not believe in you, then it will never be a good fit. It’s never hard for me to believe in people because I recognize myself in them when I was at their stage of growth. I feel their enthusiasm, passion and drive (there must be drive). This makes it easy for me to believe in them because I know they will do the work.
2. Genuine. There must be genuine concern for your growth. This Gladiator will have a genuine concern for your growth and will push and challenge you beyond your comfort zone. It may not always feel good, or sound pretty but it’s always for your good. Remember feedback is a gift. Once this Gladiator is aware of your why, they will remember it and use as the dangling carrot to keep you from falling into the pit of stagnation.
3. Excited. This Gladiator should be your fan and cheerleader! They will be elated about the milestones you make toward your goals. It may feel like they are more excited than you sometimes but that is what a champion does! They cheer you to victory in order to keep the momentum going.
4. Motivate. There are highs and lows to success. This Gladiator will not allow you to rest on your laurels just because you’ve had a couple of successes along your journey. Nor will they allow you to crawl into the cave when you miss the mark. Remember, they know your why and their job is to motivate you to stay engaged to your why, never losing momentum or slacking off just because you had a couple of high or low points.
5. Encourage. Encouragement can be defined as something that offers hope or gives confidence to another person. It can also be action, verbal or otherwise, which inspires and motivates another on a path toward a goal or accomplishment. Many studies have shown that encouragement is often misunderstood and possibly mistaken for praise, which is a notable distinction. Yet it is a form of verbal and nonverbal support intended to sustain another human being’s will to persevere against the odds. (Sala Saran). Perseverance against all odds! As previously mentioned there will be highs and lows. Your Gladiator will encourage you to continue fighting and persevere toward your why during those highs and lows of your journey. Encouragement comes in many forms and your Gladiator will use the one the best fits you and your relationship (i.e. prayer, meditation, pep talk, music, journaling).
6. Question. None of this will matter if your Gladiator doesn’t ask questions AND listen. It’s not about me giving you a carbon copy of my journey by telling you everything I did. We all have our own journeys and we must develop and find our way. Questioning and listening to where you want to go in order to assist you with your journey is pivotal to this relationship. They must ask the hard questions and listen to the verbal and non-verbal responses in order to assist you.
7. Champion. This Gladiator is your champion! They advocate on your behalf when you are not in the room. This person is going to make sure that others know you and your capabilities. This person cannot be insecure or selfish, because insecure selfish people do not and will not create opportunities for others. Choose wisely. This is why networking and net-weaving is so important.
8. Loyalty. This should be a person that you could trust with the last piece of chicken and you know that no matter how hungry they were, they wouldn’t eat it. Ok, that might be pushing it a little too far but you get the picture. Loyalty is a trait that is very important to me. Loyalty is defined as, the state or quality of being loyal; feeling or attitude of devoted attachment and affection. These are people that you should trust with your hopes, your dreams, and your fears. So choose wisely. If you can’t be 100% open and honest along your journey with this person (people), then do not add them to your team. It will not be a good match and will delay your progress (even if it’s a family member or close friend).
9. Accountable. Many of us fall short on our goals because there isn’t anyone there to give us a swift kick in the butt when we need it. We choose people who tell us what we want to hear instead of what we need to hear OR create hostile environments that prevent people from holding you accountable (stop being a bully, it’s your life).
When you are stuck in your head, controlled by woulda, coulda, shoulda, talking to the wrong people, lying to yourself, or just stop trying. This Gladiator will allow you to vent, mope, cry, feel sorry for yourself for, 3.5 seconds and then bring you back to your center with your why and your plan of action. Focus is the name of the game with this Gladiator. Remember, shift happens! Don’t get lost in the shift….
10. Reciprocal. It’s not just about you; there is a common exchange of ideas, skills, and knowledge. Everything that you expect of your Gladiator you should be as well. Take a strong inventory of yourself prior to building your team. It cannot be a one sided relationship. It will never work and your journey will have more gaps than seams because yet again it’s not a good fit.
Now it’s your turn to get started, connected and working toward your destiny! Remember we are here to support you too and would love to help you reach the pinnacles in your life through a strategic assessment, coaching, training, and workshops.
Until next time!
Taunya A. Lowe, Ph.D. is the CEO of The Resurgent Group of Metro Atlanta, LLC and Director of Leadership Development for The Impact Experience, LLC, a human servicesand leadership development consulting firm located outside Atlanta, GA. Speaker, trainer, coach, with the John Maxwell Team, author, professor, entrepreneur, and, the Siegel Institute for Ethics, Leadership and Character 2013 Phenomenal Woman. She is a skilled change agent with a focus on developing people and organizations. She enjoys combining her photography and writing to motivate, inspire and lead people toward growth and change. Order her debut book, Wanna Start a Riot? Change. http://www.wannastartariotchange.eventbrite.com To learn more, visit our websites http://www.theresurgentgroup.com, www.theimpactexperience.org To contact Dr. Lowe, email her at firstname.lastname@example.org